Torchwood Hide and Seek
by InsanityisReal
Summary: When the team is trapped in the Hub, Jack suggests they play hide and seek. Naked hide and seek. Rated T for Janto smut.


Author's Note: I think I wrote this at camp while staring at that hot Icelandic counselor…that would explain the smut. Please review! It only takes 10 seconds, but it really means a lot to me.

Pairings: Tosh/Owen and Jack/Ianto

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood. If I did, Ianto, Jack, and Owen would be handcuffed to my bed right now.

**Torchwood Hide and Seek**

The Torchwood team was sitting around the conference table, waiting for Jack to make a report. A spaceship had been sighted over the bay; Torchwood was about to investigate when it began to release a dark orange gas. The team had ran back into the hub to pick up some gas masks, but just as they were about to go out again a shout from Toshiko called them back. "Guys, bad news. The gas is part Amoggite and Crennium."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." Jack rubbed his temples.

"Why? What's wrong with those compounds?" Gwen asked.

"They're harmless to humans and most objects, but they burn through the material these gas masks are made of quickly. We found these in that asteroid, remember? I have a theory that they're from the same planet as those compounds, just used by a different tribe. Basically, we can't go outside." Jack groaned.

"The gas is putting everyone to sleep." Tosh commented, staring at the CCTV monitor. We have to put the Hub into lockdown so none gets in."

"I'm on it." Ianto started the lockdown procedure. "I'm keeping the electricity on, though."

"That should be fine." Tosh sat back in her chair.

"I'm going to try and contact the ship. Be right back." Jack had stormed off into his office.

Ten minutes later, he had called the team into the conference room for a briefing. "Alright, the problems not as bad as we feared. The aliens are friendly—the Arianns. I've been to their planet a couple times, very shy, polite, creatures, but wild in the bedroom. One of their ships broke down over the bay, and they wanted to make it easier on us, so they've put the city of Cardiff to sleep for two hours while they make the necessary repairs. We're stuck in here, unless we want to forget the next few hours."

"Bollocks! The one time I've finished all my admin, there's nothing to do!" Owen exclaimed.

"I'm done too." Gwen whined.

A gleam of wickedness shone in Jack's eye. "If yo've nothing else to do we should play a game!" He enthused.

"What did you have in mind?" Owen was bored enough to play along.

"How about hide and seek?" Ianto suggested. "That's a classic."

"That could be fun…" Tosh said hesitantly, and Gwen nodded.

"Let's make it more interesting. It should definitely be naked hide and seek. That's the best." Jack grinned mischievously.

"What are the rules?" Tosh asked apprehensively.

"Quite simple. If you catch a person, you get to shag them. And see them naked." Ianto intoned. The team stared at him. Realizing what he'd revealed about himself, Ianto blushed furiously.

"Fine by me." Owen was imagining himself as the seeker.

The rest of the team agreed; Ianto suggested they draw straws to determine the seeker. After a few tries due to suspected cheating on Owen's part, Jack was established the seeker.

Jack sat back in his chair and folded his hands over his eyes.

"Jack, we know you're going to cheat." Gwen snipped.

"Why don't you get me something to use as a blindfold?" Jack smiled. "Shouldn't you lot be getting your clothes off anyway?

"Hey, you only get to look once you've found us." Ianto said lightly.

"I've an idea." Owen stepped over to Toshiko. "Tosh, take off your bra and blindfold Jack with it."

"Why me?" She asked plaintively.

"Because I'm pretty sure Gwen won't do it." Owen explained.

"He's right." Gwen folded her arms across her chest.

"Fine." Tosh sighed. "But you guys have to leave the room"

"And start undressing." Jack added. Everyone complied, each finding a semi-private closet to disrobe in. Tosh blushed tomato red, but she unhooked her bra and tightened it around Jack's head.

"Toshiko, you have surprisingly bigger boobs than you let on. You should show them off more!" Jack said enthusiastically. "Get your clothes off. I'm going to start counting." Tosh looked around for somewhere more private. "Don't bother, just take them off in here. I can't see a thing and everyone else is outside."

"Fine." Jack was greeted by the sounds of fabric swishing off Tosh's body. "You guys ready? Alright. You have two minutes and counting to hide. 120…119…118…" The team scattered, trying to avoid being seen by their coworkers.

"Christ, it's bloody glacial in here!" Gwen shrieked.

"Hey, at least you have some body fat to keep you warm. I'm freezing my skinny arse off here." Owen groused loudly.

"Prick." Gwen shouted in return.

Soon, everyone had found areas to hide in. Embarrassingly enough, Tosh and Owen had both instinctively headed for the morgue. Owen had, ever the gentleman, helped Tosh into a high-up chamber, one of the only free ones. He was about to climb up to the one next to her, when Tosh timidly asked, "Owen? Would you mind sharing one with me? It's really scary in here. And cold. The extra body heat won't hurt?"

"Well…no, of course I don't mind, if you're okay with it."

"It's dark anyway, come on." Tosh reached out a slender arm to help him in. Owen slid in beside her and pulled the door shut.

Gwen had decided to hide the showers. She reasoned that at least it would feel more natural to be naked in a shower. Jack would find her eventually, anyway, and the showers had the added benefit of being a fair distance from the conference room, so she would probably be the last to be found. She shivered when she heard Jack finishing his countdown. Gwen wondered if there was any retcon in the locker. She might have to take some to forget what would happen when Jack found her.

Ianto was hammered by indecision for the first minute of Jack's counting. He had stayed glued to the spot, trying to keep himself covered, as he tried valiantly to think of a place to hide. After he heard Jack's one minute warning, he simply rushed up to his desk in the tourist's office, and squeezed under it. After drawing the shades and locking the door, of course. He wasn't terribly worried about what would happen when Jack found him. Chances are, he had already done whatever Jack would ask him to do.

"Ready or not, here I come!" Jack's voice resonated throughout the Hub.

"Shit, I hope he doesn't find us." Owen muttered.

"Why?" Tosh whispered.

"Tosh, don't you remember the rules of naked hide-and-seek? Frankly, I don't fancy Jack's cock up my arse right now."

"Oh, yeah." Tosh paused. "What if he never finds us?"

"Then we win." Owen responded.

"But won't we be stuck down here until he concedes? If he doesn't find us, he'll never stop the game."

"I guess we come out after a certain time frame. I'm sure an hour or two later he'll forget the whole thing. Besides, even I'd take shagging Jack over being stuck in here for more than four hours."

Tosh sighed. She might as well make a move. If she didn't she'd regret it forever. "It's so dark and scary down here." Tosh groaned, and shifted her position a little. Considering their proximity, Owen had to repress a moan of pleasure.

"It's okay, Tosh, I'm here with you." Owen lightly wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Aww, thank you." Tosh snuggled in closer, coquettishly, and slung an arm around his shoulder. Owen had never noticed before, but Tosh was pretty hot, he realized. Especially when she was wedged naked into a small space next to him. Spontaneously, Owen decided to do something to pass the time while Jack searched for them. He slowly shifted around so he was on top of Tosh. She didn't seem to mind, he noticed, as he caught a trace of a smile in the dark. Even better, she responded, her hand migrating from his shoulder down his spine, fingers softly tracing his smooth skin until she reached his arse, which she unexpectedly grabbed, to an immediate response in Owen's crotch, unduly felt by both parties.

"Let's snog." Owen said, oh so subtly.

Tosh did him one better than that: "Let's shag."

Impressed by her boldness, and eager to ease the pain of his hard-on, Owen immediately agreed.

Ianto felt reasonably well hidden under the sturdy desk in the tourist office. It wasn't the most original of hiding-spots, but Ianto was quite a bit past caring. He just wished that Jack would find him already, so he could get out of the cramped position he was in. Ianto waited another five minutes, to no avail. By that time, his back was killing him. Ianto sighed, and squeezed out from under the desk. He was going to go find Jack.

Gwen shivered on the cold tile floor of the showers. She was freezing. Was that a footstep? Gwen forced herself to be as still as possible, and listened. Shit, that definitely was a footstep. Worse, it had the unique sound of Jack's boots. Even worse, the footsteps were coming closer. Gwen heard the bathroom door open with a creak, and Jack's voice muttered something about getting Ianto to oil the door. She heard Jack walk in, boots clicking on the tile. From what Gwen could tell, he had stopped in the middle of the room, and was just standing there, listening. Gwen shifted minutely, noticing how loud the tiny scrape of flesh on tile sounded to her. Then she noticed, she wasn't the only one who heard. Jack was drawing closer, tentatively. He stopped right outside the shower curtain, listening again. Gwen tried to calm her furiously beating heart, as she knew it was becoming quite audible to Jack. She saw his fingers reach for the slit between the wall and shower curtain, eager to pull it back. Luckily, at that moment, she also heard Ianto call out Jack's name, the sound of bare feet slapping on the bathroom floor.

Jack's fingers withdrew from the curtain immediately. "Ianto? What are you doing here?"

"The desk was kind of cramped, sir. I figured I'd come find you instead. Is there anyone in here?"

"No, no one." Gwen could picture the mischievous grin on her boss's face. They weren't going to have sex in front of her, were they? The curtain provided some protection, but it was slightly diaphanous from her angle. Gwen gritted her teeth, and closed her eyes.

"You know, I probably wouldn't have minded as much if you were under the desk with me, sir." Ianto's husky voice sounded. Gwen stifled a gasp. Ianto was never this…forward usually.

"Yeah? Well, this 'seeker' job is pretty draining…I could really use something for some release right now."

"Oh yeah? Well, this counter looks fairly comfortable." Ianto softly circled his arms around Jack's waist.

"I agree." Jack's mouth suddenly crashed into Ianto's, and they kissed fiercely. Gwen opened her eyes in shock as Ianto grabbed Jack, and threw him against a wall, his hand cushioning Jack's head. Jack moaned, and flipped Ianto around so he was once again in the position of control. Ianto swiftly began to remove Jack's garments, throwing his boxers and trousers to the floor in one smooth motion, before starting on his shirt. All the while, their mouths never left one another. Soon, Jack was completely naked, like Ianto. He tugged Ianto over to the shallow counter, and Ianto quickly hopped up on it, bracing his back against the mirrored wall behind him. Jack kissed Ianto on the shoulder, before turning to Gwen's shower stall, giving her a full view of his body. Gwen had to stifle another gasp. Damn, Jack put Rhys to shame, and it's not like Rhys wasn't well proportioned. Jack reached into a pocket of his greatcoat and pulled out a small silver square; grinning, he turned back to Ianto, spread out on the counter. Jack slid in between Ianto's legs; Gwen closed her eyes again as she heard Ianto's moan of pleasure as Jack entered him. Jack rocked back and forth, slowly at first, then building up speed. Gwen, certain they weren't listening, took the opportunity to slide further into the shower stall. She curled her arms around her knees and put her head down, trying to ignore the cries of ecstasy emanating from her coworkers. Fifteen minutes later, Ianto screamed Jack's name, and the sounds ceased. Gwen noticed she was panting slightly; she automatically blushed.

"I need a shower." Ianto gasped, out of breath. He hopped off the counter, and threw open Gwen's shower stall. "Gwen!" Gwen blushed even harder. "Sorry, Ianto."

"Harkness!" Ianto spun around. "Decaf! Three days!" He strode off into the next shower stall.

Jack reached out a hand to help Gwen up. She took it, glowering. "You bastard." She muttered.

"Aww, come on, Gwen, you know you liked it. Tell you what—I won't shag you. I think that would be too much for your brain to handle, after this. Unless you want me to, of course." He grinned.

"I think I'll have to pass."

"Then go get your clothes on. I'm going to get Tosh and Owen from the morgue."

"How do you know where they are?"

"Listen for a moment." Gwen cocked an ear; she was greeted with the unmistakable grunts from Owen, and higher-pitched gasps from Tosh. "Bloody hell." Gwen shook her head, and walked off to find her clothes.

Jack strode off to the morgue. He waited politely for Tosh and Owen to finish, then yanked the compartment open.

"Found you."

"Shit!" Owen quickly rolled off of Tosh's naked frame.

"You guys, there's one thing that really helps with hide and seek. Never have loud sex while hiding. It kind of gives your position away." Jack said with a wink. "Now that I've found you two, I do believe I get to shag the both of you."

Tosh didn't exactly seem disappointed. "Room for one more in here, Captain."

Jack looked up at Tosh, surprised. "Toshiko, I've never seen you this…horny."

Owen grinned lazily. "Once you've had Harper, you'll always want more."

Tosh giggled. "Is that an offer?"

Owen enthusiastically responded by rolling back to his position on top of Toshiko; the pair proceeded to snog passionately. Soon enough, Tosh's legs fell open. Jack stayed and watched. If he had shagged them, it would have probably pissed Ianto off. And Jack was really going to need Ianto in about fifteen minutes.


End file.
